So Long, Q

Though we are heading east out of Nashville toward the sunrise, our tour has entered its twilight. We make our way from the heart of country music to horse country [complete with various state-sponsored billboards directing folks to various bourbon distilleries along the way] and much of our trek has put us back in similar types of terrain. We know we are, once again, approaching the more traditional realm of the south given the number of strange vehicles and their equally mind boggling cargo.

Josh has sort of adopted a side quest [this is very common in role playing video games and, thus, is not tremendously surprising] to find pimped-out cars and pinball machines.

[Josh here] And now I am typing. Why am I typing? We had a little adventure. Yesterday it was the nail in the tire. Today? One minute we are driving along fine through the mountains of West Virginia, Chris typing away, the next minute Prius decides it is tired and stops going. From two bars on the gas meter to pretty much empty. The electric motor got us to a gas station (of sorts) two miles away. The gas nozzle was a little old- gas got all over Koski. I told him to just breath deeply and he would feel better, but even though I am a doctor, he insisted we find a bathroom to wash it off. This “gas station” only had outhouses. Really.

And I haven’t found any more pinball machines yet. Well, we DID pass a video game and pinball machine exchange shop in Lexington, but since I was told I could not tie one to the roof, we did not stop. Some people just don’t think creatively.

Lexington was our last BBQ stop. And it was a fitting end. We went to Billy’s BBQ near the University of Kentucky. It had been chosen for two assets: BBQ mutton and the fact that it is decorated with actual wild boar heads. Tasty, eh? We thought so. We sat outside and ordered the mutton and the spare ribs. Also cheese grits, onion rings, and black eyed peas. The mutton was nice and smoky, and left no doubt of what animal it originated from. The ribs were very tender and served with a tomato based sauce that was reminiscent of KC. In fact, we both felt that they were probably better than either rib we ate in Memphis. The cheese grits were…cheesy. They made me think of Colleen and her love of canned cheese. The black eyed peas were very good, and the onion rings were fresh cut and tasty. Cornbread and Texas toast rounded out the meal. We have had cornbread in a few places and this was probably the best. Not at all dry, and very corny. And the boars heads were a perfect accompaniment to the end of our journey.

Well, not quite the end. Since we still have 400 miles to drive. We will likely post an afterward when we get to Staunton.

[Chris] We wind our way through the gorges, valleys, and mountains of West Virginia. We hit multiple construction areas that reduce traffic to a standstill behind an armada of semis. If you have not driven on the West Virginia Turnpike (I-77 and I-64), you are really missing one of the more dramatic roads this country has to offer. The Prius now strains to make its way efficiently over the summits and out of the valleys…we sense that, perhaps, something somewhere does not want us to reach Staunton. The BBQ Gods look down upon us – Gates, Dreamland, and Supersmokers – and try to prevent us from the end of our journey. They bring thunder, lightening, and a deluge reminiscent of, well, you know…We, begrudgingly, must push on back to our families who we miss dearly.

I write this as we descend from WV into Bath County, Virginia; an electronic hazard sign warns us to watch for Fair Traffic. Josh and I are trying to stay awake using extreme methods – listening to Ween and drinking truckstop flavored cappuccino [“with coffee”]. My tongue feels like a sweater as we race home before my son goes to sleep. Strangely, the thought of BBQ does not make my stomach turn or take away my appetite [though I don’t really have one at this point]. No, if asked, I could still tear into Dreamland’s heavenly ribs & sweet tea, chomp Big Jakes outstanding baked beans, enjoy Bill Spoon’s chopped pork and stupendous cole slaw; finishing the meal with Dreamland’s banana pudding. Yeah, I could still do that.

The trip has ruined me for conventional BBQ. No longer will I suffer through tough ribs with no smoke; no longer will I accept BBQ sauces that have the taste and consistency of ketchup; I will not stand for anyone’s attempt to cover poor cooking with an overpowering sauce. As Dale says, nothing should get in the way of the flavor of the meat.

Though I would eat anything from our own shrines of BBQ, I do not have access to anything close to them in my community; thus, I will probably not eat meat for a while. It is likely that my body would reject any imposter having acclimated to such perfection.