In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina...oh no, I guess we're there.

I (Josh) am finally making an appearance on the blog. As you might have guessed from the James Taylor reference. However, judging by his emaciated figure, James Taylor never has visited the places we just patronized. Let me begin at the beginning.

In the Beginning there was the Pig. And Man saw the Pig and saw that it was GOOD. And unto the Pig he applied the Smoke and the Vinegar (at least in these parts), and it was even more GOOD. For then there was a great REJOICING amongest all the people of the land. They did have their FILL, caring not for the great pestulence that was to fill their chariot (Prius) as a result. So endeth the lesson.

An aside- Krispy Kreme donuts are like manna from heaven that instantly clogs the left anterior descending artery and causes a heart attack. But it had been years, so it could not be helped.

Bill Spoon's, Charlotte NC- dark wood fake panels light yellow walls pigs clocks (1/4 working) mickey mouse clock yellow plastic checkered cloths paper plate pigs real silverware well stainless steel anyway drinks in plastic cups

It is such a stream of conciousness that overwhelms the senses in such an authentic place. Still owned and operated by the family of the recently late Mr. Spoon (see pictures), hospitality such as one rarely finds. I went with the pork, slaw and beans. Koski with the chicken, Brunswick stew and slaw. Hushpuppies on the side. The pork has been rated best of Charlotte. It is clear why- lean and smoky without too much heaviness, it is wonderfully complemented by the vinegar sauce (the smell of which invokes the memory of easter eggs) at the table. The chicken also was moist and flavorful. Beans and stew were fine. But we were in agreement that the slaw stole the show. It looked...well...a bit like a cross between French's Mustard and gatorade. But the taste was heavenly. I have never had such great coleslaw. After I had immediately eaten my portion the waitress offered more if we liked it. We quickly accepted. The hushpuppies also were refilled as they followed the slaw in the vanishing act. As we told her of our quest, our Odyssey, she nodded at the man behind us: "you should talk to him."

Dale. Prior to embarking on quests in ancient times heroes would consult an oracle to learn what fate held for them. At the feet of the oracle they would learn. At Dale's table we heard. A traveling man with a yearning for great BBQ. I-95's secrets revealed to us- we scribbled notes and listened carefully. Emails were exchanged, and hours later we were in possession of his lists of what was worth the drive, and what was not. In exultation we consumed a celebratory bowl of banana pudding.

[Koski here] - We crossed the South Carolina border rather unceremoniously with Josh limply leaning for the camera in a lazy effort to take a picture of the "Welcome to South Carolina" sign - "I'll just get a picture of a license plate" he said. South Carolina is flat and covered with trees. Oh yes, and it is hot - I felt like perhaps we were going to retrieve Persephonie at some point and admonished Josh to make sure he brought a pomegranate. We hit some quasi-real traffic heading into Charleston after passing signs for numerous attractions including, but not limited to, Patriot Point, the Aquarium, the Children's Museum, the Outlet Malls, and the worlds first submarine.

We found our hacienda at La Quinta and then headed to the most depressing place on earth: a decaying Kmart. We played tennis in the eat to try and work off some of Mr. Spoon's delicious pork to no avail...drenched, we quickly realized that we needed to head to Melvin's BBQ before it closed. We, most assuredly, would not be the first sweaty people to mow down on a plate of slow cooked meat.

Melvins is a more conventional type of BBQ place and stands in some contrast with Bill Spoon's establishment. For starters, there is a drive-thru. Those of you familiar with Texas BBQ will know that this is not an uncommon sight, nor a necessary and sufficient condition for a bad BBQ place, but it does not start in the right direction. Melvin's [there are three locations in Charleston] is also newer and the furnishings are less authentic, though the metal bucket lamp shades are a nice touch. The aroma of hickory greets you in the restaurant situated the parking lot of a newer strip mall [those of you who have ever eaten amazing chinese food in the international district in seattle know that strip malls are often hiding gems]. This is a place where you order first and then sit down. Josh and I split a combo plate with a half chicken, half rack of spare ribs, pulled pork, and two sides - we chose cole slaw and fried okra. We ordered the ribs dry so that we could try the four different varieties of sauce at the table on each of our ribs.

Oh yes, and Josh ordered a gallon of sweet tea for us to share.

Yup, a gallon [see the picture]

Let's talk about what we feel is the overarching theme at Melvin's - sugar. Naturally, we're in a part of the south that produces and consumes a lot of sugar, so this is not completely out of character nor is it unexpected. However, all the sauces were a tich too sweet [though, I would argue that the mustard sauce was just fine, but wait, I'm getting ahead of myself] - THE SAUCES: Mustard Sauce, Hickory Sauce, Golden Honey Sauce, and a Red Sauce. The red sauce was almost entirely indistinguisable from a spicy ketchup - so, no dice. The Golden Honey sauce was far too sweet for Josh, I thought it would go well with something slightly less sweet - like maple syrup. However, the mustard and hickory sauces complimented the best meat on the table: the ribs. The ribs have a nice meaty texture, good deep smoke, and a firm outer texture. They are spare ribs and some of them were a little too fatty [need more meat], but nice to eat, for sure. The chicken was a close second, and in the lead until we at the breast. Thigh and legs had excellent chicken flavor - strange to say that, but it's true - and were quite juicy; the breast was dry. We were conflicted on the pulled pork - I thought not enough sauce, Josh thought too much. The cole slaw, while not in the same league as Spoon's, had a subtle creamy texture, a more savory composition, and finished with a genuine cabbage taste.

The okra was a waste of time - zero flavor and not worth the calories.

But, there are a few of you out there who are curious about the teas! Well, the sweet tea at bill spoon's place was subtle whereas the sugar in Melvin's sweet tea hit you like a candy freight train. The only way that you could create a solution that sweet would be to boil it - we were waiting for a precipitate.

We still have about 2/3 of a gallon. Somehow, we consumed 48 ounces of sweet tea.

The red sun set on Charleston this evening, however it did not take the subtropical heat with it. Though we tried, apparently eating large quantities of meat does not cool your body. The BBQ gospel, apparently, is less clear here in the city that fired first in the civil war. While we appreciated the food, we hope the parishoners of Macon and Tuscaloosa will renew our faith.

The Prius hungers for the road, but hungers for gas more. It sits in the parking lot on empty [we did not notice this until recently]. Not bad after 500 miles.

[Josh] Now I am just a radiologist (or "fake doctor" as my wife says) but I am pretty sure the tingling in our toes and fingers and drowiness falling over us may be the first signs of a diabetic coma directly resulting from sweet tea intoxication, so if we don't make it out to the Prius in the morning, just make sure to extract all the sucrose for the children of the third world.